Friday, May 26, 2006
Sunday Scribblings #9: First Love
I know it´s been a long time since you´ve heard from me, 17 years to be exact, and I must admit I haven´t thought about you for a long time. Today I am ready to think about you.
Do you remember the first time we met? You were on a tour of NSW with your local football club all the way from Germany and I was one of the girls from the youth club picked to show you guys around. It was the first time I really appreciated being bilingual. I had a boyfriend but it was nothing serious, all the other girls had one so I´d grabbed the next best guy with a car - I was only 15. After a week of sneaking looks at you and talking a little about school, bands and travelling I knew I was hooked so the boyfriend got the flick and I was free to dance with you all night at the ball held for your team´s farewell.
Do you remember how cunningly we managed to sneak away from your team mates and, what was even more difficult, from my parents? I am getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it, I thought someone would tap us on the shoulder any second and call us back in. Some serious kissing went on once we were alone, the first "real" kisses in my life and it felt amazing. The next day you and your team flew back to Germany and I remember how empty my town felt after you were gone, I went about my days like a zombie, going through the motions but not really living, then your first letter came and I was alive again.
One year later, at the end of my 4th year of high school my parents allowed me to travel to Austria to visit my grandparents and my favourite aunt and uncle and ofcourse I agreed with my parents that it would be impossible to see you but as soon as I had the ticket in my hand I started developing a plan to travel those 1,500km and to this day I don´t know how I managed it. A love struck 16 year old is not to be underestimated. We spent a few surreal days together and I could hear the tick of the clock with each passing second, knowing our days were counted and quickly coming to an end. Do you remember hugging at the train station, not wanting to let go but knowing we had to? I felt so lonely on that train ride back to Austria and you were on my mind every minute of the trip back to Australia too.
We wrote to each other for about one year afterwards but things got busy with school and you did your army service and we both started other relationships. There was a birthday card every year though until I went back to visit you in 1989. How grown up you were, how lovely it was to see you, how we had changed. We didn´t really have much in common then did we? You were interested in going out, drinking, your mates, football - still, and blondes. I wanted to travel, see as much as possible, walk everywhere, meet people, feel the culture of every city, every village.
The last time I saw you was when you took me to the train station, that same train station, and we kissed farewell, not passionately this time but tenderly. We looked into each other´s eyes for a long time before the train left the station and we both knew we wouldn´t see each other again.
Today I wonder how you are, where you live, if you have children, if you are happy. I hope so. 24 years have passed since we first met and I have had many loves since then but you will always be my first love.
All the best,