Friday, May 26, 2006

Sunday Scribblings #9: First Love


Hello O.B,
I know it´s been a long time since you´ve heard from me, 17 years to be exact, and I must admit I haven´t thought about you for a long time. Today I am ready to think about you.
Do you remember the first time we met? You were on a tour of NSW with your local football club all the way from Germany and I was one of the girls from the youth club picked to show you guys around. It was the first time I really appreciated being bilingual. I had a boyfriend but it was nothing serious, all the other girls had one so I´d grabbed the next best guy with a car - I was only 15. After a week of sneaking looks at you and talking a little about school, bands and travelling I knew I was hooked so the boyfriend got the flick and I was free to dance with you all night at the ball held for your team´s farewell.
Do you remember how cunningly we managed to sneak away from your team mates and, what was even more difficult, from my parents? I am getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it, I thought someone would tap us on the shoulder any second and call us back in. Some serious kissing went on once we were alone, the first "real" kisses in my life and it felt amazing. The next day you and your team flew back to Germany and I remember how empty my town felt after you were gone, I went about my days like a zombie, going through the motions but not really living, then your first letter came and I was alive again.
One year later, at the end of my 4th year of high school my parents allowed me to travel to Austria to visit my grandparents and my favourite aunt and uncle and ofcourse I agreed with my parents that it would be impossible to see you but as soon as I had the ticket in my hand I started developing a plan to travel those 1,500km and to this day I don´t know how I managed it. A love struck 16 year old is not to be underestimated. We spent a few surreal days together and I could hear the tick of the clock with each passing second, knowing our days were counted and quickly coming to an end. Do you remember hugging at the train station, not wanting to let go but knowing we had to? I felt so lonely on that train ride back to Austria and you were on my mind every minute of the trip back to Australia too.
We wrote to each other for about one year afterwards but things got busy with school and you did your army service and we both started other relationships. There was a birthday card every year though until I went back to visit you in 1989. How grown up you were, how lovely it was to see you, how we had changed. We didn´t really have much in common then did we? You were interested in going out, drinking, your mates, football - still, and blondes. I wanted to travel, see as much as possible, walk everywhere, meet people, feel the culture of every city, every village.
The last time I saw you was when you took me to the train station, that same train station, and we kissed farewell, not passionately this time but tenderly. We looked into each other´s eyes for a long time before the train left the station and we both knew we wouldn´t see each other again.
Today I wonder how you are, where you live, if you have children, if you are happy. I hope so. 24 years have passed since we first met and I have had many loves since then but you will always be my first love.
All the best,
Claudia

24 comments:

Terri /Tinker said...

How poignant! I can almost see the that last tender kiss at the train station...Thank you for sharing this.

gkgirl said...

so real
and true
and touching...

thanks for sharing that.
:)

bella said...

beautiful. just beautiful.

http://deelovelee.typepad.com/mamamuses/

Jessie said...

Writing this in the form of a letter was a great approach. What a wonderful first love!

Lucky Candice said...

I really love the format - the letter to the first love. It really got me thinking about my first love and that it's okay to cherish those good times.

Excellent post!

lucky candice

papyrus said...

What a last farewell and what a memory. Writing this in the form of a letter certainly made it seem a lot more vivid.

Laini said...

Oh, I love it, it's like a first love from a book and I wish I had one of those. I don't think I had a first love -- I guess that's not possible, there must have been some time, someone, but nothing like this, so memorable. Beautiful, touching letter!

jorth said...

How beautiful! It's like a film!

susanlavonne said...

Oh how I wish he could read this! What a wonderful story and so well told!

Mirre said...

:)))

JourneyThroughLIfe said...

What a lovely tribute to your first love. And what wonderful warm memories.
JTL
xxx

Maggie said...

Absolutely the most beautiful thing I've read in a long time. So stirring. Thank you.

AnnieElf said...

Touching and sweet. A wonderful memory benchmark to have to gadge your own growing up. Beautifully written.

kaleidoscope said...

Great post.

When i started my blog a couple of weeks ago, i wanted to call it "chest of drawers" because I'm reading "the poetics of space" right now-- but to my astonishment I found that the name was taken. I forgot all about it until today, when browsing sunday scribblings and saw your comment! AND.. we have the same template. how funny.

Alexandra G said...

Claudia,
I wish this boy (man) could read this! Did you try and google him? Every soul should have a first, sweet, innocent love, one that they say goodbye forever to at a train station. Our hearts need such poignant dramas. They are our "roses in winter," to borrow the quote!

HoBess said...

What a great approach, to write him a letter. I enjoyed this so much, you really put me in each moment!

Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

Oh! Love and youth and train stations and letters...oh! All the makings and such good telling!

GoGo said...

Nice. I could see it, as I read.

liz elayne said...

oh claudia, i love this post...the tender way in which you look at your past.
beautiful and touching.

Kim G. said...

I "love" that this tale of love didn't end with drama and biterness. I love that you both just realized that what had been, had been lovely, but what was to be, was not to be true love.

Loved it! :)

Colorsonmymind said...

Wow-
great, tender and real

boliyou said...

Such a beautiful heartbreaker.

Maggie said...

How brave of you to manage to get there at 16?
have a great week,
Maggie

Yamila said...

very brave of you
the letter was heartwarming and made me cry a bit. Young love is great.