Wednesday, February 15, 2006

self portrait (tuesday) wednesday


This is what I would like to be. Not a sunflower exactly but someone who brings joy and colour to the world, spreading sunshine and warmth and happiness. I want people to see it and feel it when they meet me. I know I´m on the right track but there are still so many things I don´t like about myself.
The scales show a loss of 1kg since last week and I am managing to keep my focus away from food and eating by keeping busy and creative BUT there are more issues to my appearance than just my weight. I must put more time and care into my appearance so this week I will be looking for ways to highlight the things I do like and also improve the things that I don´t like. A visit to the hairdresser and the beautician are on the agenda aswell as a sorting through of my clothing and shoes. I am taking the advice of Sarah B:B when she says "make peace with your hair", "only wear clothes that you feel fabulous in" and "look the part, it will make you confident". I have neglected these things in the past and now that I am on the way to losing weight I must admit that it´s not only the extra kilos that make me feel bad about myself, it´s the feeling of being unbalanced again...of not looking the way I feel.
Has this ever happened to you? You´re walking along, feeling fab and confident and then you catch a glimpse of yourself in a shop window and think "is that me? Yuck,!" I want to catch a glimpse of myself and think"Wow, look at that gorgeous woman, full of colour and vitality!" and feel good about myself, NO DOUBTS!

10 comments:

megg said...

All the time.

I am SO SO SO SO SO proud of you for doing so much to take care of yourself and trying to love yourself and your reflection!

You are inspiring me to keep on trying to love my own reflection in that shop window. I know how hard it is but I am right there beside you! I believe in you!!

Frankie said...

Story of my life, sister! I completely agree with Meg-I'm SO proud of you for taking that step to take care of yourself! I'm trying to learn how to do that as well. I love the image of you as a sunflower, so bright and vivid and full of life....it's how I ALWAYS picture you :)

Jamie said...

I'm joining in the "YAY FOR YOU" chorus! We're all so proud of you out here for taking care of yourself and being loving with yourself.

I am a huge believer in extreme self-care. I have learned big time that when you nourish yourself, you have so much more available to give, and you model for others what it means to love yourself. What a beautiful gift.

But that's not the main reason to take care of yourself. You are such a special and wonderful person. You deserve to wear clothes that make you feel fabulous, to be pampered by a gorgeous haircut, to glow with joy and health and confidence, to feel like the sunflower you know you are inside. We see you :)

Connie and Rob said...

Sometimes I look in one of those mirrors at the store and I don't even recognize myself!

I so support you. Keep up the good work and stay positive.

Take care, Connie

Kali said...

I understand what you mean...I feel the same too..Good on you for taking the steps you need to become the woman you want to be..I will be here cheering you on!
It has been lovely catching up with your posts. You have such beautiful sons, and I can hear the pride in your writing...you and they are blessed to have each other :)

Laini said...

Yay, Claudia! I don't know how much a kg is (I assume it has something to do with that mysterious metric system) but good for you! I know what you feel about catching a glimpse of yourself in the window - and it is a wonderful feeling when you start feeling better about yourself and see yourself in the window in new clothes, new hair, etc, and think, alright, that's me! Wish we could all feel it no matter what, but we do deserve to pamper ourselves and do what we can to feel as good about ourselves physically as we can - and the younger we are, the easier it is, and we're all as young as we're ever going to be, so now's the time! Congrats!

Alexandra G said...

YOU are my inspiring sunflower!!! ( I also wanted you to know that my "Send" button on my email for some reason isn't loading so you can soon expect a long email back as soon as I figure out what the problem is.

HoBess said...

This is a wonderfully honest, beautiful post and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Changing my hair has completely changed me. You will find a burning desire to get up and sparkle (Thanks, Laini, for this awesome word!) every day.

Like you said when you stopped by my blog, it takes a certain power within to live life as you like, rather than worry about the assessments of your life by those around you. When you wrote that I had a mental picture of a dazzling smile walking away from frowns and whispers. You, of course, were ensconced in color, they in grey and black. Now, I add the details of a bundle of sunflowers to your arms and three smiling boys swatting at each other as they trail behind you!

I seem to continue to return to my son's karate codes: A person's unbalance is the same as weight. This one hit me like a ton of bricks because, to me, it just further emphasized the connection of my emotional outlook to my physical appearance. Leaving those Oreos for the kids is actually easier than making time to feed my creative beast! And we have to do both to keep that Wow in the shop window!

Sorry to go on and on, but I want you to know you already are a sunflower to me, and thanks for reaching out and sharing the journey.

chest of drawers said...

Thankyou so much for all your encouragement...it feels great to be part of this circle of wonderful women!

Marianne said...

I'll second what Jamie says on this one: "YAY FOR YOU"! You go girl! Love your blog! Inspiring....