Monday, February 20, 2006
Who am I?
Inspired by Meg´s post I am asking myself today "who amI?". Hmmmmm, very good question.
Claudia is my name but since I´ve been living here in Austria I have the nick name "Skippy". Anyone from Australia will find that really amusing and I hated it at first but I´m used to it now. I did the test Alexandra suggested, "Jung typology test" and the outcome was Healer Idealist (iNFp) . I have been reading through the description and it´s funny, although I never considered myself in any way introverted, I guess I am. Until recently I sang in a choir and it used to be great fun. When I joined the choir 9 years ago I loved to get dressed up to go to choir practice, I enjoyed going out for a drink afterwards, sometimes coming home quite late and I particularly liked the concerts, mostly on weekends. But these last couple of years I noticed a change in the choir...I couldn´t handle all the noise anymore, I had to force myself out the door every Friday night to go to practice, I didn´t want to go out afterwards - I wanted to get home a.s.a.p. and I made up excuses not to attend the concerts. I wanted to sing the way I liked and I was tired of being bossed around by the 2 people who run the choir because I felt that they often came unprepared and didn´t research the songs or think much about how they should be sung. I was frustrated so I took all my courage and quit. When I look back I realise that the choir hadn´t changed in the last few years, it was me! The singing wasn´t perfect and that wasn´t good enough for me.
This affects other parts of my life too. I love this house, the furniture, the colours BUT if it´s not tidy and perfect I have trouble relaxing. I am forever moving things around, cleaning up, looking for ideas in magazines...I can´t stop! I wish I could be happy with everything the way it is and just keep the house clean and organised and enjoy it, but I´m never satisfied.
I had my hairdresser appointment yesterday and I love the new hairstyle - but for how long? When I have short hair I think of growing it long. When I´ve spent ages growing it, I see a woman with a great, sporty short haircut and spontaneously go and get my hair cut short, and the growing process starts all over again.
One thing I haven´t often admitted is that my feelings are very easily hurt. I am an honest person but before I say something honest to someone knowing that it will hurt them, I bite my tongue. It hurts all the more then when other people don´t treat me the same. I don´t like to be criticised...I get emotional and just can´t handle it so I stay away from critical people.
So, who am I? I´m Claudia, I´m Skippy, I´m a mother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an idealist, an artist, a cook, a gardener, a blogger and so much more.
Labels: Self discovery